DALnetizen - Male Drivers

Things Women Need To Know About Male Drivers

Satellite Navigation is fallible, a man's memory of a town he once drove round for half an hour back in 1976 isn't.
The speed at which he takes off from traffic lights is directly proportional to the size of the bust on the blonde in the car next to him.
Despite what a man may tell you, BMW do not ship cars with 'horizontal' as a pre-set memory position for a passenger seat.
The way a man parks his car tells you a lot about him. If he views squeezing himself into tight spaces as something of an exciting challenge, it's time to fire that innocent teenage babysitter you just hired.
There is no point trying to impress a man by saying that your car has 420bhp @ 8000rpm, 310lbs of torque, independent double wishbone suspension with coil over gas dampers and limited slip differential - he doesn't actually understand any of that and will only want to know how fat the tyres are and whether there's enough room to have sex in it.
A man who buys a Ferrari may well be making up for having a small penis, but on the other hand he's also filthy rich and that will more than compensate.
When looking for a new man, it is important to remember that men who drive large 4x4's usually have kids, or sheep. Neither of these are attractive qualities.

Copyright Emma Monks (curve@dal.net) 2002