The official ezine of the DALnet IRC Network August/Sept, 2002 Issue.

Letter from the Editor DALnet People - User Interview - Freddie_mercury - IRCop Interview - Raditz - DALneter of the Month - Music to IRC To The Moving Pen Amaranthine - Poem Escape - Poem Moon - Poem Sea - Poem Silence - Poem Water - Poem Fun Stuff - Miss_Star's Astrology - Family Unfortunates - Doh! - Squawks - The Confessional In Real Life - Tea For Anyone? - What If? - The Perfect Body – Thinness and Slim Techie's Corner - IRC's Birthday - Looking into Lindows - Adding SSL to ircd - Securing NON-SSL aware Network Daemons using OpenSSL and Stunnel Past Issues - Past Issues

Doh! Colmanballs - The art of saying something completely stupid, preferably on national television. Derived from legendary sports commentator and all-round idiot, David Coleman If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly Prince Phillip You know the trouble with the French?... They don't even have a word for 'entrepreneur' George W Bush He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off! George Hamilton, Football Commentator Ah! isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew Harry Carpenter, Oxford Boat Race Commentator He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it : you can see it all over their faces Ron Atkinson, Football Manager If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same again. Terry Venables, Football Commentator The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical Murray Walker, F1 Motor Racing Commentator Who Sadam Hussein kills, dies Jeffery Archer - Politician/Author Dennis Pennis (Spoof Interviewer): Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography? Chris Eubank (Boxer): On what? One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them USTV Golf Commentator We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival Noel O' Mahony, Cork City Football Club Manager comment prior to a match in Munich Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs David Coleman We said zero, and I think any statistician will tell you that... zero must mean plus or minus a few William Waldegrave - Politician In a sense it's a one-man show... except there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper John Motson, BBC1 Commentator Radio Listener: My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day. DJ Simon Fanshawe: How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg? Robert Kilroy-Silk (Chat Show Presenter: Did you mean to get pregnant? Young Guest: No, it was a cock up Suicide is a real threat to health Virginia Bottomly - UK Politician Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed Prince Phillip commenting on the UK recession Submit your Colmanballs here ©compiled by curve/emma 2002