DALnetizen - Crime and Pun-ishment

Crime and Pun-ishment
by KitFox

Chapter 1

There were once two kingdoms. One kingdom was very powerful, and the other kingdom was relatively weak. The powerful kingdom was soooo powerful because the king there had a Magical Throne™ that would make anybody who owned it powerful.

Now, obviously, the king of the weaker kingdom wanted this throne for himself, so he sent his army out to capture it by force. The army got together all their knights and squires and pages and reporters... you know, all the stuff that goes into an army... and started marching. The army marched for many days and nights - only the reporters know for sure - until they came to the castle of the powerful king. But there, in front of the castle, was a HUGE yellow monster. The army, being an army and all, ATTACKED! (It's what armies do, right?)

Unfortunately, the huge yellow monster was part of the power of the throne, and so it ate -everybody- in the army except for two young pages who hid in the bushes (They were only 14, you see?). When night came, the pages felt brave enough to peek out of the bushes. They saw that the huge yellow monster had fallen asleep and the only thing guarding the castle was the fact that his hands were draped across the doorway. The pages, being only 14, were able to sneak between his fingers without waking him, and thus gain entry to the castle.

Chapter 2

The pages grabbed the throne, and left in a rush. Of course, now the huge yellow monster gave them no problems, because they had the throne of power. Soon they began to get tired... after all, 14 year olds carrying a huge throne of power can't go far. So they stopped for the night at a grass farmhouse. The farmer allowed them to sleep in his small barn out back, but then noticed that they had the throne of power. Because the farmer wanted it for himself, he waited for the pages to sleep, and then went and killed them both (After all they had been through!!?) and stashed the throne in his attic. But the huge throne was waaaaay too much weight for the thatched grass to hold, and the throne fell through the attic floor and onto the farmer and his wife, killing them both (Oh, the tragedy!)

Chapter 3

The next day, the previously powerful king found his kingdon in shambles, and the huge yellow monster rampaging everywhere. Suspecting the other kingdom, he sent his army out, and they kidnapped a Count from one of the nearby fifedoms of the other kingdom. The king decided to question the Count directly, and to intimidate him, tied him up with his head on th chopping block and the executioner hovering over him. The executioner was under strict orders to only INTIMIDATE the Count, but had had a bit too much to drink, so the questioning went something like this...

King: WHERE IS MY THRONE?!?!
Count: I will NEVER tell you!
King: Fine!! EXECUTIONER, CHOP OFF HIS HEAD!!!
Count: WAIT!!! I'll tell you where it... *THWACK!*

Epilogue

The moral of Chapter 1: Always let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers. The moral of Chapter 2: Those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones. The moral of Chapter 3: -NEVER- hatchet your Counts before they chicken. The End. (THANK GOD!)

Written By: KitFox
© (2005)

Crime and Pun-ishmentby KitFox

Crime and Pun-ishment
by KitFox